As I sat down for our family devotional one evening, I could sense the tension in the air. My teenage son had just made a decision that left me concerned, and I had that instinctive urge to march in with advice. But instead, I paused and prayed for wisdom. It was in that moment of reflection that I realized how pivotal this season of parenting has become—something compelling me to pick up Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out by Jim Burns.
Jim Burns writes with the compassion and insight of a seasoned father, having navigated the complexities of adult parenting himself. The reality is, as fathers in today’s world, we’re often faced with a bittersweet transition as our kids grow up and begin their own lives. Burns tackles this shift freely, offering practical advice intertwined with biblical principles about love, boundaries, and grace. He addresses many common fears and challenges—from defining the fine line between helping and enabling to managing relationships with your children’s partners.
What I found particularly enriching was how Burns integrates Scripture throughout his discussions. His writing isn’t just about parenting; it’s a reminder that our role as fathers is a God-given privilege. We are to guide, support, and provide a welcome space for our adult children to flourish while giving them the freedom to make their own choices, even when those choices aren’t necessarily what we envisioned. I appreciated how this aligned with Proverbs 22:6, reminding us to train up a child in the way they should go, and trusting the Lord with their journey, even when the path diverges from our own expectations.
The book is exceptionally readable—almost conversational, which makes it feel accessible during late-night chats or quiet Saturday mornings. Burns’ tone is both uplifting and relatable. I could almost hear the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit urging me to embrace patience and understanding as I relate to my kids. One section in particular sparked a riveting conversation with my son about his ambitions and where he sees himself in the future. We had a candid discussion, heartfelt yet unguarded, which deepened our bond immensely.
In terms of format, Doing Life with Your Adult Children serves as an excellent resource for discussions around the family table or even in small group settings. It’s structured in a way that encourages dialogue, making it easy to revisit and reflect upon, especially as our children continue to evolve into adults.
In conclusion, I believe this book is not just a one-off read but a long-term staple of wisdom for our family bookshelf. It has equipped me to lead our home in harmony with God’s design for our family, strengthening my resolve to approach each challenge with grace. For any father walking through the complexities of parenting adult children, Burns offers a guiding light, urging us to keep our mouths shut and our welcome mats out. This book has certainly deepened my commitment to lead our family through faith with clarity, conviction, and love.
“Transform Your Relationship with Your Adult Children Today” >>