As I sat with my wife last week, reflecting on our journey together as parents and partners, I couldn’t help but think about how much we’ve learned through the ups and downs of marriage. This led me to pick up “Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?” by Gary Thomas. Like many men, I often approach relationships with a focus on fulfillment and happiness, but Thomas’s message—rooted in Scripture—turned my perspective upside down. It reminded me that the core purpose of marriage aligns not just with our personal happiness, but with the transformative work God wants to accomplish in us.
At the heart of “Sacred Marriage,” Thomas challenges us to see our relationships as opportunities for spiritual growth. He asks provocative questions like, “What if your marriage isn’t about your happiness but rather about your holiness?” This shifts the focus from what we can get from our spouses to how we can become more Christ-like through our interactions. I found myself reflecting on how my impatience and irritations are not just about my spouse’s shortcomings but are an invitation to deepen my relationship with God and my character.
Especially as a father, this perspective is crucial. It resonates deeply when I discuss marriage with my children, showing them the beauty of self-sacrificial love and the importance of working through disagreements in a biblically grounded manner. The book’s insights spurred meaningful conversations around our family table, igniting discussions about serving one another rather than keeping score. I’m grateful to Gary Thomas for equipping us with practical strategies to foster empathy and understanding in our marriages, which translates beautifully into how we model relationships to our kids.
The readability of Sacred Marriage is commendable; Thomas weaves together personal anecdotes with scriptural truths naturally. Though there were moments where the language felt a bit dense, the profound lessons are worth the occasional stumble. His use of metaphors and real-life examples—like the “twenty-seven seconds” of love we can offer in daily annoyances—hit home for me. It serves as a valuable reminder that patience and selflessness often lead to deeper intimacy.
This book is now a staple in our family library—not just a one-off read. It has challenged my own selfish inclinations as a husband and highlighted areas for growth. I came away more committed to leading our home with grace, reminding myself that everything I do is a reflection of God’s love. Sacred Marriage has not only strengthened my marriage but also enriched my parenting, helping me to become a better role model for my children.
So, fellow brothers in Christ, if you’re looking to enrich your understanding of marriage through the lens of holiness rather than just happiness, pick up Sacred Marriage. Let it ignite discussions in your home, challenge your assumptions, and guide you toward a closer relationship with God through your marriage. Remember, God designed marriage not just for our joy but for our growth into Christ-like disciples.
Transform your marriage into a sacred journey of growth and connection. >>