This is a book for engaged couples. The previous version of this review sold it to Christian dads as a guide to leading an existing family, with faith-based parenting principles and family dinner conversations. That is the wrong audience entirely.
Preparing for Marriage: Help for Christian Couples (Revised and Expanded) is by John Piper, published by Desiring God in May 2018. It is 90 pages, which the old review also never mentioned. This is a booklet, not a volume, and you can read it in an evening.
What it is for
Piper wrote it for couples who are engaged or seriously heading that way, and for the pastors doing their premarital counseling. The point is to surface the conversations that are easy to skip while you are happy and planning a wedding, and much harder to have later.
It works through the theology of marriage first, which is Piper’s characteristic move: he wants a couple to understand what marriage is for before discussing how to run one. Money, communication, and expectations follow from that rather than standing alone as topics.
The questions are the practical core. They are designed to be worked through together, out loud, and they are the part a couple will actually remember.
Before you pay for it
Desiring God makes much of Piper’s writing available free in digital form on their website. Check there before buying. If you want a physical copy to write in as a couple, which for this kind of book is a reasonable thing to want, the paperback is inexpensive.
Where CalledToBetter stands
Piper is one of the most prominent complementarian voices in evangelicalism, and this book assumes that framework. He holds a defined view of headship in marriage and it shapes how he presents a husband’s role.
Our position: men and women are equal in worth and dignity before God, and Scripture describes distinct roles for them. We do not define those roles beyond what the Bible states plainly, and we do not publish rulings on the contested specifics. Piper does go further than we do, and if you are a couple who disagree with him on those specifics, you will notice quickly.
That does not make the book unusable. The questions work regardless of where you land, and a couple who works through them and disagrees with Piper has still had the conversation, which is the point. His fuller case is in the volume we reviewed here, alongside the strongest argument from the other side.
Honest notes
The old review specified “a list of 55 thought-provoking questions.” The questions are real and central to the book, but I could not verify that count. Check the preview if the number matters.
It also described a review team, including a member whose family dinner was transformed by Piper’s reflections on hospitality. There was no team and that did not happen. Removed, along with the broken markup the post opened with.
Fair limitation: 90 pages means it is a starting point. It is not a comprehensive premarital program, and Piper is not trying to write one. If you want an eight-session structured course, FamilyLife publishes a different book with a confusingly similar title, and that is the one to look at.
Who should read it
Engaged couples. Men in a serious relationship trying to work out whether to move toward marriage. Pastors and mentors doing premarital work who want something short they can hand over.
Skip it if you are already married and looking for help with the marriage you have. This is about the one you have not started yet.
Preparing for Marriage on Amazon